Religious Education for Children

If you don’t give a child the toy he desires he will cry for a short while

But if you don’t give him education then he will cry for the latter part of his life.

However, if you don’t make him religious he will cry forever in his eternal life after he dies!

Shaykh Hasan Ali

10 Things you must Not Do with your child

TEN THINGS YOU MUST NOT DO WITH YOUR CHILD

  1. Screaming
    Some say its worst than beating, and leaves one with long-term mental and emotional scars. Remember, the Prophet ‎ﷺ never raised his voice on a child, women, a friend or otherwise.
  2. Blaming
    Blaming weakens relations, lowers self-esteem and prompts children to be on the defense, even when they haven’t done something wrong. Anas b. Malik, then a 10 year old child, said: “I served the Prophet ‎ﷺ for nine years. He never said about anything I did, why I did that, or about anything I didn’t do, why didn’t you.”
  3. Nonstop Orders
    Orders and instructions, without without first convincing or persuading, turn the child into a robot and this is not healthy. When growing up, they blindly emulate and obey any authority, regardless of its values.
  4. Threatening
    Threatening is used because it’s a quick fix for resistance, but not a solution in the long run. Any attitude driven by [just] fear is hypocritical, and does not indicate real change.
  5. Sarcasm
    Making fun of a child is an unacceptable behavior in Islam: “O you who believe let not a group scoff at another group… “(49:11). Mocking a child hurts their sense of worth and self-esteem.
  6. Cursing
    Cursing teaches the child cursing, which he will use against others, including relatives, friends and parents. The hadith says: “A believer is never a defamer nor a curser nor coarse nor obscene.”
  7. Comparing
    Never compare your child to anyone, especially siblings. Comparing creates jealousy, anger and [puts them] on the defense.
  8. Continuous Advising
    The normal attention span is 3 to 5 minutes per year of a child’s age. Therefore, a 2-year-old should be able to concentrate on a particular task for at least 6 minutes, and a child entering kindergarten should be able to concentrate for at least 15 minutes. In the hadith “The Prophet used to take care of us by preaching during [some] days [and not others] fearing that we may get bored.”
  9. Mistrust
    Not giving the child the benefit of doubt weakens mutual trust, shuts frank communication and hurts self-confidence.
  10. Beating
    In most cases, beating a child is about parents venting anger than wisely and calmly wanting to improve a behavior. Beating, similar to a pain killer, is a temporary fix, not a cure. It creates a coward personality, which will continue to do bad things as long as “nobody is watching”.

Dr. Hesham Al-Awadi, author of “Children Around the Prophet: How Muhammad ‎ﷺ Raised the Young Companions”

Reprimanding Children

“Nowadays parents refrain from reprimanding their children as they deem them to be very little. However, if a child does an action which is considered bad from a deeni and worldly perspective, it is then Fardh upon the parents to reprimand such a child.

This is because there is a high possibility, the child will grow older and inculcate this bad behaviour into their lives. The sin for this bad habit will then fall upon the parents.”

Mufti Taqi Usmani

The Real Orphan

The real orphan is unruly
 yet he thinks he acts coolly
He loves to rant and rave;
 is it attention he craves?

Who has produced one so errant?
 surely it is the hopeless parent!
The father too busy in the shop
 the mother buying another shapely top!
 
The parents cares for him not
 letting him to lie and rot
If one has to about him complain
 the parents says; ‘surely my angel isn’t to blame!’

To the parents I say; ‘if you leave the nanny to bring up your child,’
‘do you expect him to behave other than wild?’

Source: www.direct.za.org

10 Principles for the Upbringing of Children

1. Teach by example, because children listen with their eyes.
2. Introduce Allah to your child: His glory, obedience to Him over obedience to anyone else, asking only from Him, Importance of the Faraa’idh.

3. Introduce Rasoolullah (S) to your child: His life & times, following his Sunnah in everything in life, his Message, and his Work: Da’wah.

4. Systematic education of Islam parallel with regular education: 4-5 hours/week; Arabic language, Tajweed, Qira’ah ul-Qur’an, Aqeedah, Hadith, Fiqh, Seerah.

5. Manners: Akhlaaq. Attention to detail about all aspects of behavior reinforced by your own behavior. You have to practice what you preach.

6.Concern for others : Self centered: Family members, environment, servants, strangers, road users, neighbors, shop keepers: Sensitive or senseless?

7. Physical fitness: Mothers stop pampering. Regular sports, especially team sports, nutrition, no junk food.

8. Scheduling time: Wake & Sleep early, TV, Daily Muhasiba, diary writing.

9. Responsibility: School projects, commons, home, neighborhood,

10. Drive for excellence in everything: Being No.1. Winning is a habit. So is losing. Focus on quality. Be a Standard Bearer of Islam.

Source: At-Talib