A Happy Formula

Hadhrat Luqmaan Alayhis salam – who was unanimously Hakeem (wise) and a Nabi according to somewas employed as a labourer in an orchard.   One day, the owner of the orchard came and asked him to bring some cucumbers.  He peeled one and gave it Hadhrat Luqmaan who started eating it with relish.  The owner, witnessing Hadhrat Luqmaan eating the cucumber with such relish thought that it must be rather delicious.  He placed a slice of it into his mouth and on finding it was extremely bitter, spat it out and frowned.

“This cucumber is rather bitter,” he addressed Hadhrat Luqmaan, “but you were eating it as thought it was very delicious.”

Hadhrat Luqmaan said, “Yes, of course!  It is bitter.”

“Why didnt you say so?” asked the master.

He replied, “What can I say?  I thought to myself that the hand from which I ate sweet things thousands of times, if the same hand gives me something bitter just once, how can I show it on my face?”

This is such a principle that if both spouses remember it, there will never be an opportunity for contention and dispute.

The wife should remember that the husband has put up with all her frivolities thousands of times, what is there if he is hard with me just this once?  The husband on the othe hand should also ponder over the thousands of times his wife had served him diligently.

(At-Tableegh vol 7 page 128)


  • Farah

    I like the lesson in this post but I think the last sentence is really disturbing. Your portrayal of women is very condescending and you imply that all they have are ‘frivolities’ and that all they do is ‘serve’ their husbands. I know your intentions are good but I just want you to note that your use of words can really affect the way people react to your posts. Salam.

    • Assalam Alaykum,
      Sister I disagree, I do not think it is condescending because it does not imply that all they have is frivolities or serve their husband. Rather it is drawing upon an example that many a man or woman may come accross where one may be displeased with the other for what is a small reason, especially when you look at the good qualities or nature of the man or woman as a whole.
      In any case, these are not my words and I hope that this article is also read as part of the whole section on marriage to put any comments which may seem out of place into context.
      I hope not to cause offence, and I welcome your feedback.
      Wasalam Alaykum

  • Amina

    Jazakallah khairan!
    if we couples remember this everyday, the world could be a better place.

  • Mrs. Shaheer

    insha Allah i’ll try maximum to be a good wife

  • Aieesha

    Assalam.if the men will respect the marriege institution and do as was said in the sunna of the holy prophet SAW it will be a blessing but in most black countries especially north west of my country Nigeria.infact 60% of them marry to divorce.I am a living withness and I know I did everything to make it work my consolation is that there is judgement day so I leave him with ya Allah,though I have forgiven him but I still wait on the judgement


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