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Moderation in Human Relations

“Love your friend moderately lest he becomes your enemy one day, and hate your enemy moderately lest he becomes your friend one day!” Tirmidhi

When we get extremely close to people and lower our guard by letting them know every detail of our life, trusting them with everything, a day can come when we regret because they can hold us ransom with what they know about us if the friendship is broken f…or some reason.

At times we cannot correct people because we have allowed them to get so close to us that they would use against us some of what they know of us.

Similarly when we dislike someone, we should never oppress them or do something unbecoming of a true believer as a day may come when a strong friendship is developed between us and we are embarrassed by past actions.

Amazing piece of advice which is worth pondering over and making good use of in our lives. An enemy can become a very great friend or relative and a friend can become a fierce enemy.

“The Almighty is all able to create between you and your enemies a strong bond of friendship for indeed Allah is All Able, Allah is Most Forgiving Most Merciful” S60 V7

Mufti Ismail Menk

Recipe for a Successful Marriage

“Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You” (Furqaan 74).

Q: Every human being by nature has an instinct to dispute. This instinct becomes more manifest between the husband and wife, thus leading to marital disputes. How can this instinct be controlled?

A. Consider the following ten points to control the instinct of dispute and maintain a happy marriage.

1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam and sought some advice. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: ” and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [RA] for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr radiallahu anhu resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)

by Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Do Not Cause Harm to Others

At times our success, sustenance, contentment, etc is blocked or negatively affected due to a sin we are not giving up or a fellow human being we have harmed. This can even affect the mind, health & family too.

Sometimes we hunt for the cause of our downfall, loss, frustrations or unhappiness yet it is glaring us in the face! Transgressing against the Almighty or causing harm and grief to a fellow human being cannot do us any good.

If human nature makes us falter we should know that the Creator, who is Most Forgiving is always waiting for us to turn to the right path!

If we have caused harm to others we should put a stop to it and never be too proud to seek forgiveness from them directly.

Mufti Ismail Menk

Imam ibn Majah

Abu Abdullah Muhammad ibn Majah (r.a) – [209 - 273 A.H.]

Imam Ibn Majah was born in the city of Qazvin in the northern Persian province of Dailam. After gaining ahadith from the many great religious scholars of his city, he travelled to seek knowledge at the young age of 21. Imam Ibn Majah is said to have visited Basrah, Kufah, Baghdad, the Hijaz, Makkah, Syria and Egypt to hear and gather ahadith.

Amongst his teachers were Jabbara ibn al Mughlis, Ibrahim ibn al-Munzar, Hisham ibn Umar and more Abu Bakr ibn Shaibah.

His status
Ibn Khallikan writes that Imam ibn Majah held the position of an Imam in the subject of hadith.
Abu al-Ali Khalili says he was a great scholar of Qur’anic exegesis, ahadith and history.
Adh Dhahabi stated that he was a hafiz and warehouse of Prophetic knowledge.

Imam ibn Majah is known to have authored 3 books, popularly known Sunan ibn Majah, at-Tafsir and at-Tarikh.

Imam Ibn Majah departed from this world during the blessed month of Ramadan 273 A.H. in Qazvin, the city of his birth.

May Allah Ta’ala fill his Qabar with Noor.
Ameen.
Source: Scholars of Hadith by Syed Bashir Ali

On Friday…

On one Friday, Rasulullah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “O Muslims! Allah Ta’ala has made this day a day of eid . So have a bath on this day, whoever has perfume should apply it, and use the miswaak. ” (Ibn Majah)

Fight Laziness

Early to bed and early to rise are habits taught by the Messenger pbuh.

Those who unnecessarily or habitually delay going to bed may not realise the harm to their mental, physical, spiritual & social well being.

Similarly those who get up very late each day, allowing laziness to overpower them would have their share of obstacles & negativities as a result.

Once this becomes a habit, it can lead to the break up of marriages, feuds within the families, flaring of tempers, loss of income, failure at school or work, loss of concentration, a constant lathargic feeling and becoming an irritation to those we live with.

It can also cause deep unexplained discontentment, sadness or even put us into a depressive mode. We MUST fight laziness to succeed!

Mufti Ismail Menk

Imam an-Nasa’i

Ahmad ibn Shu’aib an-Nasa’i (r.a) – [215 - 303 A.H.]

Imam an-Nasa’i was born in the town of Nasa’ in the Persian province of Khorasan. After gaining hadith from the teachers his own city, Imam an-Nasa’i travelled through Khorasan, Iraq, the Hijaz Syria and Egypt gaining ahadith. Egypt was where Imam an-Nasa’i settled and established his center for teaching and studies here.

Imam an-Nasa’i was said to have exhausted many of his days and nights in prayers, repeatedly performed Hajj and also joined the Muslim army to participate in battle. He was very particular of the Sunnah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), had a hatred for deviation and avoided the circles of kings and nobles.

Imam Nasa’i's status
Ibn Khallikan writes ‘He was the Imam of hadith of his age.’
Daraqutni says ‘He was more distinguished than all the muhaddithun of his time.’
He is well known for Sunan an-Nasa’i which is a collection of 5751 sound ahadith. In it he also describes the flaws of a hadith, exposes any disagreements on the title, names and kunyat of narrators and clarifies the variations between different versions of a hadith.

His teachers are many, the first being Muhaddith Qutaibah ibn Sa’id al Balkhi. Some others are Ishaq ibn Rahawaih, Muhammad ibn Nasr, Muhammad ibn Bishr and the famous Abu Dawud.

His students came from all over the Muslim world, and some of the more famous of them are Ali ibn Jafar at-Tahawi, Abul Qasim at-Tabrani, Muhammad ibn Mu’awiyah al Andalusi, Abu Jafar at-Tahani and also his own son.

Imam an-Nasa’i travelled to Damascus, Syria in 302 A.H. where he noticed people displaying some hostility towards Hazrat Ali (R.A). He therefore wrote a book to honor the character of Hazrat Ali (R.A) and started lecturing from it in a Masjid. He had only read a few lines when he was accused of being a Shi’i and was beaten badly by a crowd, such he received severe injuries to his body. In this state he requested some admirers to take him to Makkah, and it was after reaching Makkah Imam an-Nasa’i passed away.

Source: Scholars of Hadith by Syed Bashir Ali

May Allah Ta’ala fill Imam an-Nasa’i's Qabar with Noor, Ameen.