You can’t see your reflection in boiling water; similarly, truth cannot be seen in a state of anger.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.
“A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.”
by Shaykh Asif Husain Farooqi of England
The beauty of an Ummati is from their Akhlaq
Allah’s Nabi(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) has intimated that each ummati of his is beautiful. But this beauty is not due to colour or any such thing; rather the beauty of an ummati is from his (or her) akhlaq (character). Allah Ta’ala has said that a person’s akhlaq is a tremendous thing.
Today I am at fault – I was late and I apologize for it. Your prayer has been delayed by 15 minutes and my conscience is reproaching me. I ask your forgiveness since apologising is also a part of akhlaq (character). May Allah forgive us for our bad akhlaq (character). Akhlaq is that you do not cause the slightest suffering to the creation of Allah; Allah’s Nabi(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) himself gave a beautiful definition of it in the hadith:
“Love for your brother what you love for yourself.”
What a fine criterion. Think, would you like someone to swear at your mother or to abuse your brother or sister? Whenever you are about to say something bad to anyone, then immediately think how bad you would find it if it were said to you. Similarly, if you decide that you like something then wish the same for your brother.
It is not simply a matter of performing sajdahs(prostration), reciting the Quran and staying hungry all day long. Rather in this month of Ramadhan we should try to improve our akhlaq. We should try to improve relations with those whom we do not get on; we should seek forgiveness from those who are angry with us; and we should create such a feeling of brotherhood that the ummah becomes one in reality. Today this is the cause of the disunity which we have, though we pray in one row our hearts are filled with feeling like hate and insincerity. In fact this community of ours is so dirty that we are ashamed to ask one another for forgiveness.
Excellent akhlaq is that of Nabi Kareem (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam). He lived in this type of society – with Christians and Jews. And he showed what is good akhlaq – not even enemies could fault him for his akhlaq. To this day no writer or historian has been able to criticise Nabi Kareem(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) for his akhlaq. And this is the one sign of a good person – that their akhlaq is excellent.
My friends from today let us make a promise to ourselves that we never let our akhlaq fall. Let us love the young and respect the old and if we have any insincerity or bad feeling in our hearts then let us ask Allah for forgiveness. Remember Allah Ta’ala has said, “If you take less from someone in this life then I will give you more in Paradise. If you ask someone to forgive you then I will give you a higher rank then them in Paradise. The more you make yourself humble amongst creation, the more I will raise your rank in Paradise.” So do we want the dunya or do we want Paradise? I say we should wander the streets looking for people and apologising to them.
Now let me say that bad akhlaq is an illness of our inner selves. If you have heard one part of the Quran then have you become pious? Are your inner illnesses cured? The Quran is a cure for all humanity (not just the believers). And the Quran is there to cure our akhlaq. If I place a bottle of medicine before you, it can sit there for days and it will have no effect on you – until you eat it.
When the light of the Quran and Sunnah shines on a gathering then people’s hearts melt like wax. But when a person leaves the company of the friends of Allah Ta’ala , the hearts become hard again. So is there a medicine which will keep hearts soft even after leaving the company of the friends of Allah ? Rasoolallah (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that if you want to keep your hearts soft and cure the illness of bad akhlaq then you have to perform the dhikr of Allah !
Dhikr of Allah Ta’ala is the thing to improve akhlaq, do sincere dhikr of Allah Ta’ala and such a light will enter your heart that people will say what good akhlaq this person has.
Source: Al-Islaah publications
May Allah grant us beautiful akhlaq, ameen.