Manners for Young Children
1. Teach children to use the right hand for eating, drinking, giving and taking. To eat and drink while sitting, and to stay, ‘Bismillah’ before eating and, ‘Alhamdulillah’ after finishing.
2. Teach children hygienic etiquette, to clip fingernails and toe nails, and to wash hands before and after eating.
3. Teach them how to clean themselves after using the toilet and how to keep urine off their clothes.
4. Correct their mistakes kindly and privately without scolding them.
5. Instruct them to listen to the Adhaan quietely and repeat the words of Adhaan after the Muadhin, then to ask Allah to exalt the mention of the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] and supplicate the following,
‘O Allah, the Rabb (Lord) of this complete invitation, and the ready prayer, grant Muhammad the means and the virtue, and raise him to a praised rank which You have promised him.’
6. Assign each of them a separate bed, if possible, otherwise a separate cover. It is most preferable to have a room for girls and another for boys.
7. Instruct them to remove harmful objects off the road and not to throw litter on it.
8. Warn against bad company and against loitering.
9. Greet children with Assalaamu alaykum at home, in school, and in public.
10. Instruct children to be kind to neighbours and to be helpful to them, and avoid bothering or disturbing them.
11. Instruct them to be courteous to guests and to treat them with generosity.
The rule of Music and Singing
It is the duty of the educators to warn children against listening to music and singing. Allah states, ‘And of men who take idle talk to lead men away from the path of Allah without knowledge, and make fun of it. For such there will be humiliating punishment.’ (31:6)
Most scholars are agreed that idle talk is nothing but singing. Ibn Mas’ood [radhiallaahu anhu] said the same. Allah also addressed Satan saying, ‘And excite whoever you can with your sound.’ (17:64)
The Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘There will be from my Ummah those who will deem as lawful; fonircation, silk (for Muslim males), liquor and music.’
The great scholar Mujahid and others said, ‘The sound of Satan is music and singing.’
Singing of Today
Most, if not all, of the singing today talks about love, voluptuous desires, kissing and details of a woman’s body and other sexual connotations, things that excite the youth and incite them to establish illicit relations.
The best way to combat the habit of listening to music is reading the Qur’aan and the rememberance of Allah, and reading the Seerah or the biography of the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam].
Obedience to Parents
If you want to attain success in both worlds, then you should apply the following advice:
1. Speak politely to your parents and humble yourself before them and be kind to them, and never scold them nor express a word of disgust to them.
2. Obey your parents as long as no disobedience to Allah is involved.
3. Never frown at them, nor give them an angry look.
4. Honour them and guard their reputation and their property. Never take anything from them without permission.
5. Do what pleases them, and help them out even without their asking for your help.
6. Consult them in your own affairs, and apologise to them if you fail to do so.
7. Respond to them quickly and with a smile and when they call you.
8. Treat with courtesy your parents’ friends and relatives during their life and life after their death.
9. Never argue with them, nor blame them and if they err, show them politely their error.
10. Never speak to them with loud voice, and listen politely to them.
11. Help around the house, and offer help to your father at his work.
12. Do not travel without their permission, and if you do, keep in touch with them.
13. Never enter their bedroom before knocking and receiving permission to enter.
14. Never offend them by any bad habit that you may have.
15. Never start eating before they do.
16. Never give your wife or children priority over them. Seek their pleasure, for doing so secures the pleasure of Allah.
17. Do not sit on a place higher than theirs.
18. If you maintain them, never be niggardly towards them. The way you treat them, your children will treat you.
19. The most deserving of your kindness is your mother, then your father, and know that Jannah lies under the feet of mothers.
20. Never be disobedient to your parents, for this is the case of misery in both worlds.
21. Ask your parents to supplicate in your favour, because Allah responds to their Du’aa for you or against you.
22. Supplicate frequently for them, and ask Allah’s forgiveness for them.
23. Never cause anyone to curse them. The Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] explained this by saying, ‘When a man curses another, the other would curse the man’s father. So beware of this horrible sin.’
24. Remember whatever good deeds you do or accomplish, your parents will benefit from it after their death. And remember too that the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘You and your property belong to your father’.
Guidelines for Raising Children
Abdul Rahman Abdullah Manderolla
[Source: Madrasa In’aamiyyah]