Be Considerate

Being considerate of someone sleeping by not disturbing them is actually a charitable deed. The Messenger pbuh used to walk in and greet those awake in such a voice that they could hear, but those asleep were not disturbed at all.

Today our televisions, radios, CD players and other sound systems literally “blast” through the whole neighbourhood let alone disturbing poor family members or room mate…s! Do we phone at awkward times, knock the door so loudly, ring the bell like maniacs, speak so loudly on our phones whilst others are asleep or trying to sleep?

Let us become more conscious of those who are asleep and be considerate towards them whether in the house or elsewhere. Not only will we be earning a reward but we will prevent many a crisis from erupting and ease what may be unknown silent suffering.

Mufti Ismail Menk

Maalik Bin Dinaar

1. Hadhrat Maalik Bin Dinaar (rahmatullah alayh) was a contemporary of Hadhrat Hasan Basri (rahmatullah alayh). Once he got into a ferry boat. When the boat was in the middle of the river, the pilot asked for the fee which Maalik Bin Dinaar was unable to tender. The pilot mercilessly beat him until he became unconscious. When he revived, the pilot threatened to throw him overboard if he failed to make payment. By the command of Allah Ta’ala a shoal of fishes surfaced. Each one had a dinaar (gold coin) in its mouth. Hadhrat Maalik took one dinaar and handed it to the pilot who fell at his feet ashamed, profusely apologizing. Hadhrat Maalik stepped off the boat and walked away on the surface on the water until he was out of sight.

2. Hadhrat Maalik Bin Dinaar was very handsome and extremely wealthy. He lived in Damascus. The following is the episode which led to his reformation. He used to spend time in I’tikaaf in the beautiful Jaami Musjid built by Hadhrat Muaawiyah (رضئ الله عنه ). Once he developed the desire to become the mutawalli (trustee) of the Musjid. He, therefore, decided to remain in the Musjid and engaged in ibaadat to impress the musallis. He spent the whole year in I’tikaaf in the Musjid. Whenever people entered the Musjid they would find him performing Salaat. After one year he came out of the Musjid and heard a voice saying: “O Maalik! Alas! Why don’t you repent. Shame on your year’s of deceptive worship.”

Cleansing his heart from riyaa (show) he passed the entire night in ibaadat. In the morning he saw a group of musallis at the entrance of the Musjid. They were discussing the poor state of the Musjid’s administration. They unanimously decided to appoint Maalik Bin Dinaar as the mutawalli. They said that there was no one better qualified for this post than Maalik Bin Dinaar.

When the group approached Maalik Bin Dinaar, he was engaged in Salaat. After he completed his Salaat, they informed him of their decision to appoint him the mutawalli. When he heard this he said to himself: “O Allah! For a whole year I worshipped you with riyaa, but no one paid any heed to me. Now after a single night’s ibaadat with sincerity, so many people have turned to me by Your command. I take oath by You that I shall not accept this offer.” So saying, he came out of the Musjid and engrossed in ibaadat life-long.

3. In the city of Basrah an extremely wealthy man had died leaving his only daughter. This girl who inherited her father’s entire estate was very beautiful. She went to Hadhrat Thaabit Bunaani (rahmatullah alayh), the renowned saint, and said: “I wish to be married to Maalik Binaar so that I derive aid in ibaadat and the Deen.” Hadhrat Thaabit put this proposal to Hadhrat Maalik Bin Dinaar, but he declined, commenting:”I have abandoned the world. Woman is also part of the world. I have no desire of violating my pledge.”

4. Once while Maalik Bin Dinaar was resting in the shade of a tree, a snake was fanning him with a Narcissus branch.

5. Hadhrat Maalik Bin Dinaar frequently resolved to participate in Jihaad. When finally he acquired the opportunity, he was overtaken by a severe fever which rendered him helpless. Lamenting his fate, he said to himself: “Maalik, if you had any status by Allah, you would not have become ill at such an opportune time.” Full of grief he fell asleep. In a dream he heard a caller saying: “If you had today gone in Jihaad, you would have been captured. The kuffaar would have ruined your Imaan by forcibly feeding you pork. This fever is a beautiful gift for you.” Waking up from his dream, Maalik Bin Dinaar abundantly expressed his gratitude to Allah Ta’ala.

6. Once, after a long spell of illness he went into the bazaar. Due to excessive weakness he was hobbling along. The Sultan with his retinue happened to pass through the bazaar. The soldiers were clearing the street, harshly ordering people to step aside to make way for the royal procession. On account of his weakness, Maalik Bin Dinaar was unable to move quickly. A soldier struck him with a whip. Feeling the sharp pain, Maalik spontaneously exclaimed: “May Allah cut off your hand.” The next day, he saw the soldier laying in the street with his hand cut off. Hadhrat Maalik grieved much for having blurted out the curse.

7. The neighbour of Maalik Bin Dinaar was a physically strong evil young man who caused much distress to people. Once the people complained to Maalik Bin Dinaar about the oppressive conduct of the young man. Maalik Bin Dinaar went to counsel him. The young man responded: “I am a royal servant. No one can tell me anything.” He displayed an evil temper. Maalik said: “I shall complain to the king.” The young man said: “He is most gracious and kind and will not apprehend me.” Maalik Bin Dinaar returned crestfallen.
After some time, the people again complained about the evil and oppressive conduct of the young man. Maalik Bin Dinaar again set off to counsel the young man. Along the way he heard a voice saying: “Do not pursue My friend.” Maalik Bin Dinaar, greatly surprised went to the young man who exclaimed: “You have come again!” Maalik Bin Dinaar said: “I have come to give you glad tidings. Allah Ta’ala says that you are His friend.” The young man said: “If this is so, I give all my wealth in the path of Allah.”
After having contributed his entire estate in the path of Allah, he left, never to be seen again. Maalik Bin Dinaar saw him in Makkah. He had become extremely lean and weak. He was supplicating:

“Allah has called me His friend. I have sacrificed myself for Him with all my heart. I know that His pleasure is in ibaadat. Never shall I displease Him. I repent.”

As he supplicated, his soul departed from his earthly body.

8. Once Maalik Bin Dinaar rent a room next to the home of a Jew. His room was adjacent to the entrance of the Jew’s home. The Jew spitefully always deposited garbage and filth in Maalik’s entrance. Even his musalla would at times be soiled. This treatment continued for a long period, but Maalik Bin Dinaar never complained.

One day the Jew came and said: “Does the garbage I deposit in front of your room not distress you?”

Maalik: “It does distress me, but I wash and clean the place.”

Jew: “Why do you tolerate so much distress?”

Maalik: Allah has promised substantial reward for those who contain their anger and forgive people.”

Jew: “Truly, your Deen is beautiful. It commands toleration of even the hardships presented by enemies.”

The Jew was so affected by the beautiful conduct of Maalik Bin Dinaar that he embraced Islam.

9. Maalik Bin Dinaar visited a man in his death throes. He endeavoured to induce the dying man to recite Kalimah Shahaadat. The only response was: “Ten, eleven–ten, eleven.” The man said: “In front of me is a mountain of fire. When I wish to recite Kalimah Shahaadat, the mountain of fire rushes towards me. Maalik Bin Dinaar enquired about the man’s deeds and he was told that this man dealt in interest and would give less when weighing.

10. Once Maalik Bin Dinaar and Ja’far Bin Sulaimaan were together in Makkah Muazzamah. When Maalik Bin Dinaar commenced the Talbiyah, saying he fainted. When he revived, Ja’far bin Sulaimaan asked the reason for his unconsciousness. Maalik Bin Dinaar said:

“I feared to hear a voice which would respond

(There is no presence for you).”

11. When reciting the aayat

Maalik Bin Dinaar would restless, weep much and say:”If this was not a Qur’aanic aayat, I would not have recited it because it means: Only You do we worship and only You we seek aid, but we worship our nafs and seek aid from other.”

12. Once a woman said to Maalik Bin Dinaar: “You are a man of riyaa.” (Riyaa means to worship in order to impress others.)
Maalik Bin Dinaar: “For the past 20 years no one called me by my name. Finally, you have recognized me.”

13. Maalik Bin Dinaar said:
“A companionship which will be of no benefit on the day of Qiyaamah is futile.”
“A man who indulges in idle conversation and remembers Allah little, lacks knowledge. His heart is blind. His life is ruined.”

14. Maalik Bin Dinaar said that in one of the Divine Scriptures, Allah Ta’ala said:
“The least punishment I give to an Aalim who loves the world is the elimination from his heart of the pleasure of thikr.”

15. After Maalik Bin Dinaar’s demise, a buzrug saw in a dream a scene on Qiyaamah. The angels were leading Maalik Bin Dinaar and Muhammad Waasi’ to Jannat. The buzrug (in his dream) wondered: “Who will be allowed to enter first into Jannat?” Soon he observed that Maalik Bin Dinaar was permitted to enter first. The buzrug commented: “Muhammad Waasi’ was a greater Aalim and enjoyed greater spiritual perfection.” The Angel responded: “True, but Muhammad Waasi’ owned two sets of garments while Maalik Bin Dinaar had only one set. He has therefore been granted prior entry into Jannat.”

Sweetness of Imaan

By Maulana Hakeem Akhtar Shb

Whatever grace we see of His on the heart,
the heart becomes independent of all wealth.

Our hearts are not in need of all the money of the rich due to the torrential downpour of mercy that we see Allah sending down on our hearts. Whoever makes friends with the elephant trainer has to enlargen his door because the former comes with his elephant. Thus Allah also makes the heart of the person very large who He grants a special radiance and proximity.

Moulana Rumi (Rahimahullâh) says: “The exterior of a saint can be so weak that he dances around due to a mosquito bite, but his interior contains the revolution of the seven heavens.”

Dr. Abdul Hayy (Khalifah of Hadhrat Thanwi) says: “When he passes here, how many worlds pass one’s sight.”

Jigar Muradabadi expresses the same sentiments in the following words: “Sometimes the seven heavens circulate this handful of soil.”

In short, there is so much delight in the name of Allah, that the tongue cannot express it in words. There was a saint, who used to say that he experienced so much pleasure in taking the name of Allah that his mouth would become sweet. He would take an oath that his mouth had indeed become sweet.

Sheikh Muhiuddeen Zakariyya Nawawi (Rahimahullâh) has explained under the term ‘Halâwat Iman’ that Allah grants sweetness of Iman to every person who adopts those practices on which there is promise for it e.g. loving the saints, protecting the gaze etc. However, some people are granted a physical sweetness that can be perceived in the mouth. This is the grace of Allah and is granted to whoever He wishes. This sweetness can be perceived in the heart by everyone. Every person receives an immediate tranquility in the heart.

We should be more concerned about reforming our hearts than our external features if we want to live with peace. Otherwise notwithstanding the air conditioners, we may possess, we will be engrossed in worry and anxiety. The heart will be engulfed in the worries of the kicks and punches of the thousands of rands. The contentment of the interior is not dependent on the contentment of the exterior.

Source: Radio Islam

Keep the Spark of Love Alive

As the days come to closer to one’s marriage, excitement, ecstasy and elation pump through the bride and groom. The build up to marriage is an experience of thrill and jubilation. When the marriage is solemnised, one’s happiness and delight is on the verge of brimming and tipping over. When the newlywed couple meet for the first time, words cannot describe the sweetness of the bliss, serenity, pleasure and elation tasted by the two.

If every day of the marriage can mirror the first day of marriage, and every night reflect the first night of marriage, then the marriage will be a euphoric experience on this world.

The gentleness, passion, love, tenderness displayed on the first day and night of the marriage should be portrayed throughout one’s life.

The first couple of months are always a ‘honeymoon’. Once the couple settle down, then reality begins. Many couples fail at this point. The husband gets engrossed in his job. He comes home tired and late, feeling hungry and tired. He demands for the food and feels lazy to do anything. He eats, puts the dirty plates in the sink and lies down on the sofa. He might awaken to perform salāh if he is conscious of salāh. Otherwise, he wakes up later on towards the night, phones a few friends, watches TV and keeps ordering the wife to get him x and y. When it is time to sleep, the husband if he is feeling in a good mood he will have relations with his wife-but only to satisfy his needs. Once he is fulfilled, he stops and drops off to sleep. Whether the wife is satisfied or not does not even cross his mind. This becomes the routine of his life.

The wife on the other hand, she initially tries to please her husband. She slowly loses her enthusiasm as she does not receive enough attention from her husband. She cooks to please her husband. She will put effort into her food. She will try and perfect every detail in the food. The presentation, ingredients and spices are put meticulously so they complement each other. After a while she begins to tire from this as the husband does not comment or he criticises her food. As soon as the husband goes to work, she is on the phone to her associates. She cooks, watches TV, cleans the house and enjoys her day before her husband comes home. Once the husband comes, she becomes a slave again.

This style of marriage where there is no affection shown, no real emotion transmitted from one party to the other is heading towards destruction.

The husband needs to implement the romance the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam displayed. We consider Romeo to be romantic but not the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. If I was to say the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was the most romantic individual, I would not be lying. Looking attentively to the biography of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam, you will find that he was extending a great deal of respect to his wives and was displaying high attention, care and love toward them.

He was the best example for the ideal manners toward the wife. He was comforting for his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love.

The husband and wife have to bond with one another psychologically, physically and spiritually. Here are some attractive examples and points we need to adopt to achieve a marriage of romance:

1. Know their feelings

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was telling Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha : “I know well when you are pleased or angry with me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.”[i]

The husband and wife should be aware of each other’s feelings. The husband should be able to gauge when his wife is upset or sad, likewise the wife should be able to read her husband’s behaviour. By being conscious of one another’s feelings, it will help in resolving any differences. When your spouse is down or upset, be there to console him/her. Sit with them, speak with them, listen to them. Try and make them smile. If the husband is always conscious of his wife’s feelings, and the wife is always conscious of the husband’s feelings, then this will assist greatly in keeping the ‘flicker’ alight.

2. Console her

Sayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. She was late so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down. [ii]

This is another feature a marriage must have. Each spouse has to be there for the other in the good and bad times. The wife should find comfort and solace in the husband and the husband should find warmth and love in his wife. Be gentle with one another.

3. Laying in the wife’s lap

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recline in the lap of our beloved mother Sayyidah Aisha radaillahu anha even in the state when she would be menstruating. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recite the Qur῾ān whilst reclining in his wife’s lap.[iii]

How many times have we rested in the lap of our spouse? These gestures may seem trivial but they are the acts which bring the hearts close. The wife can sense and see the love of her husband for her in such actions. Every so often come home and just go and rest in the lap of your wife. She will appreciate this gesture greatly.

4. Combing the spouse’s hair:

Aisha radiallahu anha would comb the hair of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam and wash his hair.

This is how close a couple has to be. Love evolves and grows to such an extent that a spouse yearns to do everything for the other spouse even if it simply combing their hair. To maintain a high intensity of love, do the little things for your spouse also. Little acts have a huge psychological impact on the mind of the spouse. Seldom comb their hair, take their clothes out to wear, bring them a cold drink on a hot day, prepare something for them etc.

5. Drinking and eating from one place:

Aisha radiallahu anha would drink from a cup. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take this cup and search for the place where the lips of his beloved wife made contact. Upon finding the place where his wife drank from the cup, he would put his lips on the very same place so that his lips have touched the place where her lips touched. He would then drink the contents of the cup at the same time enjoying with his spouse. When there was meat to eat, Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha would take a bite. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take the meat from her hand and again place his mouth the very same place where his wife ate from. This would add taste of love to his food.[iv]

Do things together with your wife. Do not just eat at the same time and on the same tablecloth, but eat from the same plate. Let alone the same plate, eat together from the same article of food. This will bond the hearts so close to one another. When everything your wife comes into contact with becomes more beloved to you than food itself, imagine the flame of love in your lives?

6. Kissing: –

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would kiss his wife regularly. Even when he salallahu alaihi wasallam would be fasting, he would kiss his wife.[v]

Compliment your spouse often with kisses. When exiting the house, make it habit you leave by coming into contact with your spouse. When returning home, along with saying salām to her, show that you have missed her dearly.

When she is working or busy in her household chores, surprise her with a kiss. You have to show your love. Love is the fuel of marriage; if you desire your marriage to progress, you have to express your love in every way you can.

Physical relations in a marriage are very important. The famous saying is, “actions speak louder than words.” Show your spouse you love her. Sharī῾ah promotes romance and physical relations between the husband and wife. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam categorically stated,

“Conjugal relations with your wife is a sadaqah.”[vi]

7. Lifting the morsel to her mouth

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam said : If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it, -even when you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.” [vii]

The husband and wife should make these gentle gestures to exhibit their love and appreciation. Feed your spouse with your own hands now and then. This will rekindle the flame of love in your marriage.

8. Assisting her in the housework:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean and help at home. He would see to his needs himself rather than demanding his wife. He would clean and see to his clothing himself.

Without being asked, if the couple help each other in day to day activities, it will make one appreciate the other. Likewise, one should try his best not to demand his/her spouse to do things too much. Whatever one can do himself, he should do. We need to be considerate of the spouse. The wife works tirelessly all day. So if the husband was to be considerate and realise his wife works hard, this will touch the wife. Likewise, if the wife was to go out of her way to see to the needs of her husband being considerate, it will induce a great spark of love between the two.

9. Telling her stories

Discuss stories and events with your spouse. Engage in light hearted discussions with her-something to laugh and joke over. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam on many occasions would discuss stories, events and have light hearted discussions. The famous story narrated by Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha regarding Umm Zar’ is evident.

This is one angle which is neglected more so than often. It is all ‘business’ between the husband and wife. They do not get into light hearted conversations. Instead, the husband rings his friends and chuckles with them. The wife on the other hand giggles during the day with her friends. This should not be the case. Focus and divert all your amusement and entertainment at your spouse. If you want to laugh, then let it be that you are laughing with your wife.

Make it a point in your busy schedule daily where you sit with your wife and do nothing but have fun with her.

10. Sharing happy occasions with her:

Once when the Ethiopians were practicing target shooting in the masjid complex, the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stood with his wife watching. Not only did the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stand with his wife, he put his cloak around her. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam although he had other jobs to do, he stayed there standing with his wife. He only went when his wife wanted to go.[viii]

A husband should be one who shares happy occasions and experiences with his wife. When it is raining, cold or sunny, one should shelter his wife.

You should be willing to sacrifice your errands to spend time with your wife. When the spouse sees sacrifice for her sake, it will create immense love and respect in their heart.

11. Racing with his wife

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would exercise and play with his wife also. The famous incident of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam challenging his wife to race is well known.

When a couple can have such good times together, it only ignites the love even more.

12. Calling her by a beautiful name:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would call his wife ‘Humairā’’ out of love. Linguistically it means the little reddish one, but the scholars state that in reality it refers to someone who is so fair that due to the sun they get a reddish tan. This was the reason why the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam called her Humairaa’.[ix]

Call your spouse nice sweet names. One has to show his partner love and affection in every little thing. One needs to feed love constantly to his spouse to keep the flame burning.

Once the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stared into his wife’s eyes. He was gazing at the world within his wife’s eyes. He then said to Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha in praise of her beauty,

“How white are your eyes.”[x]

This is what is needed. The husband and wife should be constantly complementing and praising each other. The husband has to show his love and attraction to his wife. The wife needs to show her infatuation for her husband. When there is a reciprocal relationship, the marriage climbs heights.

13. Dress for your spouse

Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said: “As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself for her. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.” (Qur῾ān 2 :228.)[xi]

This is another area where many spouses fail. The wife only dresses when it is a special occasion. The husband on the hand stays scruffy and does not take care to be neat and tidy. If the couple want their everyday to be a special occasion like their wedding day, they must dress to impress!

The wife should wear the clothing which pleases her husband. Likewise, the husband should wear what the wife likes. Every time the husband and wife glance at each other, the glance should arouse them and stir up more love for their spouse. This will ignite the love in the heart.

14. Utilising perfume:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would have a container for perfume. He would use perfume constantly.[xii] One should make an effort to smell good for his wife all the time. Looking good, keeping clean, smelling nice compliments a relationship exceptionally. Make sure you hair is tidy, your clothes are neat and you smell pleasant. This will attract your spouse always and inject affection into the marriage.

15. Do not talk about her private matters:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam described the one who discloses his wife’s affairs to others as amongst the worst of people.[xiii]

Whatever occurs between yourself and your spouse should remain between you two. How unmanly and shameful is it when a husband discusses his wife to his friends? The secrets and issues of the spouse must not be narrated at all to anyone. Do not talk about your wife to others. Your wife is for you. You are for your wife. Your fidelity and loyalty should always be to your spouse.

16. Loving & respecting their families

Another great factor to contribute to a healthy relationship is to love and cherish the family of your spouse. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was once asked whom he loved the most. He replied, “Aisha.” When the questioner rephrased his question and asked from amongst the men, he replied, “Her father.”

The Prophet could have easily said Abu Bakr. His answer displays such intelligence and ingenuity, that in one response he displayed his devotion to his wife and her family. He exhibited his fondness for his in-laws. Imagine how happy his wife Sayyidah Aisha would have become upon hearing this response?

Compliment your in laws in front of your wife. Compliment your wife to her family. Your wife will really appreciate this.

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.

With regards to your second query about the China Islamic Association, the Darul Iftaa is not in a position to comment as we have no correspondence with the organisation in reference.

Mawlana Faraz Ibn Adam
DarulIftaa.net

The Wisdom of the Shaykh

An incident once took place when a student of Knowledge was taking a walk with his teachers in one of the gardens of their Madrassah. During this walk, the student decided to address a problem he was facing and seek its remedy from his teacher. He began to tell his teacher, ‘I have a spiritual ailment; I am habitual of talking ill of others and mentioning matters about them behind their backs.’

The teacher carried on walking for a moment and then asked him, ‘do you have a mobile phone?’ The student answered affirmatively and took out his phone to show his teacher. The phone was one of the latest models on the market and he had just purchased it recently.

Upon seeing the phone and the student’s attachment to it, he asked the student to throw the phone in a nearby mud patch and trample upon it. Whilst astonished by the teacher’s request, the student questioned, ‘how can I throw this phone on the floor? It has cost me a lot of money and is worth a lot to me.’

The teacher replied to him with the following words of wisdom, ‘So too is the respect and honour of your brother as sanctified and valuable as this in the eyes of Allah. How can it be easy for you to trample upon this honour and respect with such ease?’

The student realised how he had never understood nor appreciated the true value of a Muslim brother; and from that day onwards he never failed to compare the respect of his brothers to all those items which were the most valuable to him.

Jazakallah to Maulana Zain for his help in putting together this story.

Look After Your Rocks

Most of you have probably read this story B4 but for the sake of others i’ll post it here:

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2″ diameter.He then asked the students if the jar was full ? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.The students laughed. He asked his students again if the jar was full ? They agreed that yes, it was.

The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this is your life.

The rocks are the important things – your faith, your beliefs, your family, your partner, your health, your children – anything that is so important to you that if it were lost,you would be nearly destroyed.

The pebbles are the other things in life that matter,but on a smaller scale.The pebbles represent things like your job,your house,your car etc.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff. If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first,there is no room for the rocks.

The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff,material things,you will never have room for the things that are truly most important.Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life.

Play with your children. Spend quality time with your spouse. There willalways be time to go to work, clean the house, fix the car etc.

Take care of the rocks first, the rest is just pebbles and sand!!!

The need for a Shaykh

We can cite another example – of the sweetness of a mango and a lump of sugar. Both are sweet; but how does one define each sweetness? It is not possible for anyone to do that in words and there is only one way to distinguish the nature of each. One must eat the two things and know for himself what the difference is.

In the same way, it is not easy to define the inner excellencies of man. For instance, humbleness is difficult to describe. However, if one meets a humble person and observes his conduct and stays in his company for some time then that characteristic will grow in him. Hence, it is necessary to turn to a Shaykh and live in his company to know about tasawwuf and sulook. These things cannot grow in anyone by merely talking about them. It is only by attending the company of and giving one’s time to a Shaykh that Allah Ta’ala helps one attain these things.

Spiritual Discourses by Mufti Taqi Usmani

Sunnah of Miswaak

Maulana Khalil Patel of Rahma Mercy talks about the Sunnah of Miswaak.

 

The Detainee and The Detained

It is said that a rich man had a slave named Sanqar, who was hard working, honest, feared Allah and abstained from wrongdoing. Always mindful and with a heart full of love for Allah, he was a contrast to his master who was a non-practising Muslim with shaky belief.

Once, at midnight, the master called him aloud to leave his bed, take the luggage and accompany him on a journey. Sanqar made haste, at the first call of his master, left his warm bed, collected the luggage and followed him.

Morning dawned on the way, and they heard the Adhaan from a nearby mosque. Sanqar took his master’s permission to join the prayers, reckoning that he would sit close by and relax. The master told him return as soon as possible.

Sanqar entered the mosque and the master, forgetful of Allah, waited outside. The Salah completed, all the worshippers and the Imam came out and walked away.

Now the master walked to the very door of the Masjid and called upon Sanqar by name, demanding how was it that he had not come out of the Masjid yet, while even the Imam had left. Sanqar replied from within, “O Master, I am trying my best, but they don’t let me out. Just hold on for a while. I know you are waiting outside.”

The master hurried seven times to the entrance of the Masjid, calling Sanqar by name. hearing the same answer every time. His temper flared up, and he shouted indignantly, “Sanqar! All the men and Imam have left long ago, what are you doing alone in the Masjid? Who is detaining you inside the Masjid?”

Sanqar’s voice rang from inside, “O Master, the same one who is preventing you from entering the Masjid is the One keeping me inside.”

(Source: Tales from Rumi)

Happy Husband and Wife

19th century Ottoman scholar Bediuzzaman writes:

Happy the husband who sees the wife’s firm religion and follows her, and himself becomes pious in order not to lose his companion of eternal life.
Happy the wife who sees her husband’s firmness in religion and becomes pious so as not to lose her eternal friend.
Alas for the man who becomes dissolute, which will lose him for ever that righteous woman.
Alas for the woman who does not follow her pious husband and loses her eternal blessed friend.
And a thousand woes on the unhappy husband and wife who imitate each other in sin and vice, helping one another to enter Hell-fire!

Jazakallah to ‘Seeker’ for leaving this quote as a comment on the post Characteristics of a Pious Husband.

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