Manners of Visiting

3.1 KEEPING APPOINTMENTS, DELAYS AND CANCELLATION
In the first verse of Surat Al-Mai’da, Allah called upon the believers ‘O’ you the Believers, fulfill your promises.’ In Surat Maryam Allah also praised Prophet Ismail may peace be upon him ‘He was true to his promise. He was a Messenger and a Prophet.’

To keep an appointment is vital to our lives, since time is the most precious commodity, once wasted it could not be replaced. If you made an appointment, whether to a friend, colleague or for business you should do your utmost to keep this appointment. This is the right of the other person who gave you part of their time and may have declined other appointments. Not only have you disrupted their schedule but you have marred your image and personality. If your punctuality becomes lousy you will lose people’s respect. You should keep all your appointments whether it was with an important person,a close friend or someone else. You will be responding to the call of Allah in Surat Al-Issra’ ‘and keep your promises. The promise is a responsibility.’

It is enough to know that our kind Prophet gave an appointment to one of his companions. The companion came three days later. The Prophet gently reprimanded him ‘You have caused me some trouble. I have been waiting expecting you since three days.’ The companion probably had an excuse for this delay. Then, he had no means to inform the Prophet about his inability to meet the appointment.

Today, fast and reliable communication means are available everywhere. As soon as you realize you will not be able to keep an appointment, you should inform the other parties to enable them to utilize their time. Do not be careless or irresponsible. Do not think that the appointment is so unimportant that it does not merit a notice or an apology. This is totally irrelevant. Regardless of its importance an appointment is a commitment. It must be kept or canceled properly in advance.

Never make a promise while you do not intend to keep it or fulfill it. This is forbidden as it falls within lying and hypocrisy. Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated that the Prophet said: ‘Three traits single out hypocrites, even if he prayed and/or fast and claimed to be Muslim: If he talks, he lies. If he promises, he does not keep it. If he is entrusted, he betrays the trust.’

Imam Ghazali in Al-Ihya said that this Hadith fits those who promise while intending not to fulfill it, or those who, without excuse, decide later not to fulfill a promise. Those who promise but could not fulfill, their promise due to a proper excuse are not hypocrites. But we should be careful not to create excuses that are not valid. Allah knows our inner thoughts and intentions.

3.2 DECLINING A VISIT
If you visit friends with or without an appointment and they apologize for not being able to receive you, accept their apology without ill-feeling. You should understand that something may have come up compelling them to decline your visit. Their own affairs, or the state of their house, may have made your visit inconvenient. It is perfectly all right for them to ask to be excused.

The follower (Tabi’ee) Qatada bin Di‘ama Al-Sadüsy said: ‘Do not hang around at the door of those who declined your visit. Accept their reason, leave to attend your business, and let them attend their own business.’ Do not ask for reason or explanations. Imam Malik used to say: ‘Not all people can disclose their reasons.’ Accordingly, when it comes to visiting, our righteous ancestors used to say to their hosts: ‘Perhaps you just became busy and cannot receive us,’ making them feel at ease in case they wanted to be excused. Imam Al-Tabari in his Tafseer (18:113) reported that a man of Muhajirin said: ‘All my life, I wanted to practice this Sura ‘If you are told to turn back then do so, it is much better for you’ but I could not. I was hoping I will seek permission to visit a brother and he will tell me: Go back! I gladly will go back fulfilling this directive to Allah.

This particular etiquette is very important in order to remove any ill-feelings that could linger because of declining of a visit. Allah SWT said, ‘If you are asked to go back, go back: that makes for greater purity.’

Many people do not know what to do, and become disturbed by the visit of someone whom they do not want to receive under the circumstances, and may resort to lying. Not only their children learn these bad manners, but such behaviour may lead to antipathy.

The Quranic etiquette provides a better alternative to such unpleasantness and guards us against lying. It provides for the host to kindly present a reason to visitors and asks that they accept it in good faith and without hesitation: ‘If you are asked to go back, go back: that makes for greater purity.’

from the book ISLAMIC MANNERS
By Shaykh Abdul-Fattaah Abu Ghuddah (RA)

Prophet Dawood and Sulaiman

Dawood (alayhis salam) and his son, Sulaiman (alayhis salam) were not only prophets, but also kings of the people of Israel. They were both known for their strength, wisdom, judgement, and devotion to Allah.

Before Dawood (alayhis salam) became king, Talut (Saul) was the king of Israel. When he set out with his army to fight Jalut (Goliath) and his forces, he tested his soldiers by telling them not to drink from a river which they were crossing. Only a small sip of water out of the hand was allowed. But only a very few men passed the test. With that small band of obedient soldiers, Talut prepared to meet the larger and stronger army of Jalut. The men put their faith in Allah, knowing that size and numbers were no match for a steadfast faith in the power of Allah. Dawood , who was a very young man in Talut’s army, killed Jalut. After that, Jalut’s army fell apart, and the small band of Israelites was victorious.

Dawood (alayhis salam) , besides being brave and wise, was known for his wonderful voice, which he used to sing the praises of Allah. When he sang, the mountains and valleys and all of nature seemed to join in. It was to him that the holy book, Zabur, was given by Allah. It is a book of songs praising Allah.

Allah also showed Dawood (alayhis salam) the art of making iron, so that he was able to make suits of armor to protect his soldiers.

The prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم used to say, according to the traditions of Sahih al-Bukhari (Vol. 4: 631), that the most beloved fasting to Allah was that of Dawood (alayhis salam), who used to fast on alternate days. And the most beloved prayer was that of Dawood (alayhis salam). He would sleep the first half of the night; then he would pray for one-third of the night, before going back to sleep for the remaining one-sixth of the night.

Dawood (alayhis salam) was a wise and just judge of disputes which arose in his kingdom, but his son Prophet Sulaiman (alayhis salam) surpassed him in the ability to provide a fair judgement.

In one tradition (Bukhari, Vol.4; 637), there were two women, each of whom had a child. One child was stolen and devoured by a wolf. Each woman claimed that it was the other woman’s child who was taken. They brought the case to Dawood (alayhis salam) and he judged that the older woman should have the remaining child. Then they went to Prophet Sulaiman (alayhis salam). He called for a knife, so that he could cut the child in half and give half to each woman. But the younger woman, who could not bear to see her child cut in half, cried out that the child belonged to the other woman. Prophet Sulaiman (alayhis salam) then gave the child to the younger woman.

In another story, referred to in the Quran (21: 78) a man’s flock of sheep strayed into a farmer’s field at night, destroying the crops that had been growing there. The case was brought before Dawood (alayhis salam), who awarded the flock of sheep to the farmer as restitution for damages. But Prophet Sulaiman (alayhis salam) suggested another solution, which would repay the farmer without ruining the herdsman. Prophet Sulaiman ruled that the farmer would keep the sheep and use their milk and wool, until the herdsman had restored the damaged field to its original condition. When that had been done, the flock would be returned to the herdsman.

Both Dawood (alayhis salam) and Sulaiman (alayhis salam), although powerful and rich, never ceased to acknowledge that all their gifts were from Allah. They remained obedient to Allah and used their power to follow Allah’s will.

You can read about Dawood (alayhis salam) and Sulaiman (alayhis salam) in the Quran 2:249-251; 21: 78-82; 34: 10-14; 38: 17-26, 30-40.

10 Principles for the Upbringing of Children

1. Teach by example, because children listen with their eyes.
2. Introduce Allah to your child: His glory, obedience to Him over obedience to anyone else, asking only from Him, Importance of the Faraa’idh.

3. Introduce Rasoolullah (S) to your child: His life & times, following his Sunnah in everything in life, his Message, and his Work: Da’wah.

4. Systematic education of Islam parallel with regular education: 4-5 hours/week; Arabic language, Tajweed, Qira’ah ul-Qur’an, Aqeedah, Hadith, Fiqh, Seerah.

5. Manners: Akhlaaq. Attention to detail about all aspects of behavior reinforced by your own behavior. You have to practice what you preach.

6.Concern for others : Self centered: Family members, environment, servants, strangers, road users, neighbors, shop keepers: Sensitive or senseless?

7. Physical fitness: Mothers stop pampering. Regular sports, especially team sports, nutrition, no junk food.

8. Scheduling time: Wake & Sleep early, TV, Daily Muhasiba, diary writing.

9. Responsibility: School projects, commons, home, neighborhood,

10. Drive for excellence in everything: Being No.1. Winning is a habit. So is losing. Focus on quality. Be a Standard Bearer of Islam.

Source: At-Talib

Love of Seclusion

It is related that some people said to Hasan al-Basri, “Oh Abu Saeed there is a man sitting behind a pillar here, whom we have never seen. Hasan al-Basri went to him and said, “Oh Abdullah, I see the love of seclusion has engulfed you. What prevents you from sitting with the people?”

He replied, “A matter which has averted my attention from the people”.

He then asked “So what prevents you from sitting with Hasan al-Basri?” He again replied, “A matter which has averted my attention from Hasan al-Basri and the people.”

Hasan al-Basri enquired about this affair which was keeping the man away. The man asserted, “In the morning I look at the blessings of Allah and at the sins I have committed. I then occupy myself thanking Allah for the blessings and repenting from my sins”.

Hasan al-Basri said to him, “Oh Abdullah you are more knowledgable and have better understanding than Hasan! Remain steadfast in your action.”

Read the Qur’an

So brothers and sisters, to increase your iman
Read the miracle, read the Quran
Here’s a fact for the ones who are keener
92 surahs revealed in Mecca, 22 in Medinah
Read it every day and to read it be proud
The word Quran means to read it aloud

Read the book from the Lord of the worlds
Over 6,000 verses and 77,000 words
Read with respect, no disturbance, no laughters
from Al Fatiha to An Naas, all 114 chapters
And in it 14 times you need to prostrate
And say Allah ho Akbar, meaning Allah is great

In this book, 25 prophets are mentioned by name
Who came at different times but their message was the same
This miracle was revealed over a 23 year span
Sent from Allah (swt), to an angel and then to a man
That man was Muhammed (saws), the best of creation
And we are proud to be part of his nation

He gave us a message and that was Islam
So read this miracle, read the Quran!

Author unknown

Angels from Heaven

It is related that when Sahl – bin Abdullah AI – Tustairi died, people flocked from all over to attend his funeral prayer.  An elderly Jew, who lived nearby, was overwhelmed by the mass of people. When his eyes fell on the Janazah, he remarked, “Do you see what I see?”

They asked, “What do you see?”

He cried, “I see angels descending from the heaven taking blessings from it”.

Overcome by what he was witnessing, he confirmed his Faith in Allah and His Messenger.

Entering/ Leaving a House

2.6 KNOCKING AND RINGING
Knock at the door, or ring the door’s bell in a pleasant way and not louder than is necessary to make your presence known. Do not knock loudly and violently or ring the bell continuously. Remember that you are a visitor and not a thug or an oppressor who is raiding the house and frightening its occupants. A woman came to Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal seeking his opinion on a religious matter. She banged at his door loudly. He came out saying, ‘This is the banging of policemen.’ Al-Bukhari reported in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad that the companions of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) used to knock on the door of the Prophet with the tips of their nails.

This nimble and gentle knocking, or ringing, is appropriate for those whose living quarters are close to the door. For those living farther from the door, it is appropriate to knock on their door, or ring the bell loud enough to enable them to hear it, without banging. In this regard the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, ‘Gentleness adorns every act, its absence will tarnish it.’ In addition, Muslim reported that the Prophet also said, ‘Whoever lacks kindness, lacks all good things.’

Leave an adequate time between two knocks, or rings. This will enable those performing ablution, praying, or eating, to finish without rushing. Some scholars estimate this interval to be that of the praying time of four rak’as. Keep in mind that a person may have just started the prayers just before you rang the door bell.

After three spaced knocks, or intermittent rings, you may feel that the person you came to see is busy, otherwise, he or she would have answered you. If this is the case, leave. Al-Bukhari and Muslim reported that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: ‘If you asked permission three times, and were not granted permission, then you must leave.’

While waiting for permission, do not stand in front of the door. Instead, stand to the right or to the left. The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم), upon coming to someone’s door, avoided facing the door directly. Instead, he would stand to the right or to the left of the door.

2.7 ANSWERING ‘WHO IS IT’
If you knock on the door you may be asked, ‘Who is it?’ Identify yourself , using your most common name but do not respond with, ‘It is me,’ ‘Somebody,’ or, ‘Guess who?’ These words are useless in identifying who is at the door. You should not assume that your voice is known to the person or persons who live there, because your voice may resemble another person’s voice. Don’t forget that people differ in their ability to distinguish voices.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) discouraged people from saying ‘it’s me’ because it does not reveal your name. Bukhari and Muslim reported that Jabir bin ‘Abdullah said: ‘I came to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and knocked on his door, and he asked, ‘Who is it?’ I answered, ‘It is me,’ and the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) disapprovingly said, ‘ Me is me, me is me!’ ‘ For this reason, the companions used to mention their names whenever they were asked, ‘Who is it?’

Bukhari and Muslim reported that Abu Zar said: ‘While walking out one night I saw the Messenger of Allah walking by himself. I opted to walk in the shade of the moon, but he turned around and saw me and said, ‘Who is there?’ I replied, ‘It’s Abu Zar.’ ‘ Bukhari and Muslim also reported that Umm Hani, a cousin of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), and the sister of ‘Ali bin Abi Talib, said: ‘I came to see the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). He was taking a bath and his daughter Fatima was sheltering him, and he asked ‘who is this?’ I replied, ‘I am Umm Hani.’ ‘

from the book ISLAMIC MANNERS
By Shaykh Abdul-Fattaah Abu Ghuddah (RA)

Dreams

Rabi bin Sulaiman relates that I saw Imam Ash-Shafi’ in my dreams after his death and Iasked ”Oh Abu Abdullah, how did Allah deal with you?” He replied, ”He sat me down on a chair and showered me with diamonds.”

A Pious Saint relates that I saw Shaykh Abu Is-haak Ibraheem bin Ali bin Yusuf Al-Sherazi in a dream after his death, crowned and clothed in a beautiful white garment. I asked, ”Where is this whiteness appearing from?” He replied, ”Honour of Oobedience.” Again I asked ”And the crown?” He replied ”Honour of knowledge.”